


Thing You Said Under the Stars and in the Grass

by Kienna



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, One Shot, Tumblr Prompt, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3965602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kienna/pseuds/Kienna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is sitting on the hood of the Impala with a rumpled trenchcoat in his hands</p>
<p>Originally written/posted for Tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thing You Said Under the Stars and in the Grass

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a prompt sent to me on tumblr (url: gratefulcas.tumblr.com although I'll admit I don't write much). Originally posted on tumblr here. http://gratefulcas.tumblr.com/post/113144530037/6-things-you-said-under-the-stars-and-in-the#notes

“I’m sorry, sorry about everything. Sorry you were asleep when I left. I’m sorry I left you there, and didn’t even say goodbye. I know I shoulda, and that even a note would have sufficed….I was trying to hurry, I was gonna make you breakfast, Cas. Your favorite, pancakes. I was gonna go to the grocery store, get you some sandwich stuff you asked for, too. I remember how you love those freaking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I forgot to buy you peanut butter again… God, Cas, I am so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I had to come back and find your body dead and I’m sorry couldn’t tell you how much I loved you, I am so sorry. I wasn’t able to hold you and watch your last breath. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save you. I didn’t think you had it in you, to do it for whatever greater good bullshit you were always talking about. I didn’t think we wouldn’t be old together, or at least taking our last breaths together. I should have been there to watch you, I knew you weren’t feeling well and you still haven’t completely adjusted to being human yet. I’m sorry Sam had to call me, and that I thought I would come back and we would watch movies, and I’m sorry I didn’t get to say I love you one last time. I’m so sorry, Cas, that I couldn’t hold you. I couldn’t comfort you, you were alone in a puddle of your own blood, hoping I would walk back in that door. I’m sorry that you don’t get a proper burial, that we had to burn you like you were no more then some stupid ghost. I’m sorry I forgot to put your trenchcoat on you before you were burned, and I’m sorry I have it in the trunk, on a stupid hope that you’ll come back. I’m sorry I watched your body go up in smoke and flames, and that I couldn’t bring myself to plug my nose and I’m sorry that the stench of burning flesh is still on me. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring myself to eat for a month. I’m sorry I was stuck in a hospital for malnutrition and alcoholism. I’m sorry I was fed through an IV for six weeks, and I’m sorry I lost my will to live. I still haven’t gotten it back. I’m sorry the only thing I have left is your trenchcoat.”


End file.
